‘He roasted the bridesmaids one by one’: Wedding Goers Recall Cringiest Father of the Bride Speeches They’ve Ever Heard

Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor

Jun 24, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

There are quite a few unspoken rules when it comes to speeches at weddings. They're unspoken because one would think that they are common sense, but alas, today's thread is testimony to the fact that these rules may need to be engraved on some stone slabs from a holy mountain so that some people will finally get it. First thing's first, you have to make sure that you're supposed to be giving a speech before you make one. That is to say, make sure that it's not actually just supposed to be a really quick word before a toast, and if you are, in fact, a designated speech-giver, then prepare for it! Unpreparedness is either going to have you fumbling for words or using way, way too many as you ramble like it's open mic night.

Other rules: don't make it about yourself, don't drink too much before the speech, don't have a mean sense of humor, make sure the speech isn't just 100% inside jokes with two members of the family, and maybe don't take that moment to disclose family secrets to an audience who just wants to dance, celebrate, and eat good food. Someone should've informed the fathers in the thread below, but hindsight is 20/20.

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